This has been the hardest time of my life. I graduated law school a semester early and my plan was to take the bar exam in February, so that I could get it over with and move on, and not have to take it over the summer in Ramadan while a few other time-consuming, fun things would be going on in my life. However, I was completely exhausted from a busy semester of school, the Chiberia weather was getting to me and causing seasonal depression and anxiety, and I was just not doing well. I think I had just reached my threshold of how much I could handle, and I needed a break, and didn't have the energy that it took at this point to go through the intense process of the bar exam. I considered switching it to the later date but felt bad about it - I felt like I should have just been able to overcome anything and taken it. I felt guilty. I wanted to stick to my plan that I had drawn out so thoroughly and carefully, and I started feeling anxiety about having to study later while everything else was going on in my life. Here are a few things I learned during the process.
- We are our own worst enemy. We are our own biggest critic. We are harder on ourselves than others, and sometimes we need to give ourselves a break.
- Balance of life comes first, before anything. Health and happiness come first, then everything else. Everything else can wait.
- In the grand scheme of things, most things won't matter. We can't take everything so seriously, because it's just life.
- Everyone has a threshold. There's only so much you can handle, and at some point even the most calm and collected people just fall. And sometimes it's okay to spend some time just relaxing before getting back up.
- Sometimes our plan may not be the best plan. God is the best of planners.
- And finally: everything happens for a reason. We just have to trust that hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes things will make sense later.